so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
