Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
