It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
