I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
