And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
