do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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