There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
