He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
