if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
