remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
