There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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