I love black thongs
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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