The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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