is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
