Are we in a gay sports bar?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
