Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
