I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
