yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
