i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
