my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
