I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
