1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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