Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
