Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
