rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
where are my pants?
in the oven.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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