you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
