I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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