Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
whose ass print is on the piano?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
