i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
