I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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