You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
