goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
