well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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