do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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