He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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