We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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