Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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