so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
