if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
