he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
