he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
