we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
