And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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