I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
