im drinking this country out of the recession.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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