so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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