I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
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