Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
