it wasn't lemon gatorade
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
