I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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