eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
